i have no mood to blog but im doing it now . lol . im so sick and tired of heartbreaks and stuff like that . its so stupid , yknow . and it doesnt give me any benifit or anything like that . its just plain stupid . whats all this things called love ?! i dont wish to be in it but sadly i am . its so dumb . and i know , by now , im stressed out and this like that . with this fight im gg tru . wth ?! my holiday was supposed to be fun and enjoyable not thinking about this sorry sorry things and stuff . and if you wouldnt wanna forgive me , then its so NOT my problem . i tried and tried , but im just sick of tring now . i feel so angry . i deserve better and i know you know that baby . and theres just one point i feel like backing out ferom cheerleading because of this and HIM . but sports day is coming and i dont want all efforts to be wasted but . i cant do this anymore . its making me feel like im just nothing . wth , did i do ?! it isnt me thats at fault . its you . its not that i dont wana entertain you . that was the reason you gave when you make me fel this way .
you said i didnt entertain you during shasha's bdae party , what do you expect me to do ?! be with you 24/7 and not have fun with my friends . ure unreasonable yknow . and so what if you still love me , i dont care . because youre the one whos making us not working out . and i already said sorry , what more ? i dont even dare to go up to you and talk like normal , i have no courage to do that . and i admit it , i feel guilty . but dont you , before i didnt enetertain you , didnt you recall what you said . you didnt cared about me back then , im trying my best working things out but u aint helping .
i dreamt about you . and it wasnt a good one . ohh myy . leave me baby , if youre gonna continue hurting me , then just leave , get out . i know , god will give me strength to forget about you . theres many people that ive ignored and spend alot less time with them since i was with you . and i wanna catch things up with them . only if you understand . i thought youve changed these few days , but i guess youve proved me wrong . and im so disappointed . damn . i hope things ill turn out okay next week , im giving you a second chance though . so much hurt , so much pain , thanks for not understanding . for you i go through this . but i knw im strong , i can go through this . with my all time girlfies and boy friends .
i love you still and always ;
words from bella's heart .
Saturday, March 15, 2008 @ 11:02 AM / 0 daisies
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