Im at home for the whole day today ! (: Did nothing but chat , check my tagged , friendster and watch videos .
I'm impatient and I always want things to be my way . I get pissed off very easily nowadays . I judge so easily and blurt out everything I feel about something just like that , whether or not it'll hurt the person/other party . Like a loser ; I think I am one as I give up very easily and I'm not willing to try . Hot tempered person I am . Usually , I'll think back if what I did was wrong or right . But now ; I can't be bothered and repeat my mistakes all over again . Now , people gives me advices . It used to be the other way round . So I guess what Ruyu baby said was right . I did change . A drastic one . I don't know which path or where I'm going . But for sure its not going to be a good one . She says I changed so badly until it affect my looks . What has gotten into me ? I guess , its time to stop being who I am now and change to a better person .
Ruyu Baby ; I'm sorry . You saw me in that attitude . Out of everyone , YOU . I'll become worst if it wasn't because of you . Thank you so much for making me realize for whom and what I was about to turn into . What you said was true ; I wanna change just to prove to him that I'm fine without him . But then when I think back again , what a waste of time . I could be myself and stay the way I was enjoying my own life . Not trying to be someone I'm not . You touched my heart ,dearest . You said you'll still love me no matter what and you'll accept me as whoever I am . Those ups and downs ; fights . 2 years and still counting . I love you Ruyu , like my own blood sister . What more can I ask for ?
Mekite Katanorika Arifuji ; Where have you been nowadays ? I'm missing you . I thought you told Ruyu that you were going to call me ? Now I realize whom I love when the person is gone . I wait up till 3 am in the morning waiting for your call . But as I wait , all the calls that came in , not one of them was from you . The last time I heard your voice was on Tuesday . 4 days ago , maybe that isn't long but to me it is . I fall in love so easily . Now its you . Who's going to rap for me on the phone ? And entertain me and my little brothers nonsense . Laughing at my super duper lame jokes . Share your stories with me . Talk about Yancik and ManB and how wonderful their voices are . Make me jealous as they're your brother . Brothers by blood . Urgh , damn , i miss you la gangster . Hope you'll read this . And I'm gonna get a lecture session from you by calling you a gangster . heeeh(: I love you , Matrep . This 27 th November ; off to gig with you . Still on kan ? xoxo . Oh , find out what Mekite Katanorika Arifuji means , YOURSELF !
Love Lockdown
Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 9:09 PM / 0 daisies
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